Sunday, 20 November 2016
Life with 2 is WAY easier than I anticipated. My Mom was chatting with a couple of my friends a while back (all of whom have 3 kids each) about which number was the biggest shock. Some said #2, others said #3 but for me it was #1. With Paloma, I'm learning how to handle each stage as it comes, but with chickadee I'm always thinking "Oh it's no big deal, I've been hear before, this too shall pass..." I was already knee-deep in Motherhood when Chickadee entered our family so I just keep on going with her, but of course with Paloma, it was a big learning curve.
I don't want to give the image like my life is a breeze, because we definitely have our bad days, but even with those, I'm learning to let bygones be bygones and move on. I still call my parents all the time for advice, because they always help steer me in the right direction and/or put a new spin on the way I'm looking at the situation. My challenges are almost always a result of the terrible twos (or as my neighbour nicely put it - the tenacious twos) and not because I have more than 1 kid. I totally understood before Chickadee came along that as the second child, there were going to be times where she'd have to wait for my attention because I was busy with Paloma. I make myself feel better by saying that every second child around the world must experience the same.
In other exciting news:
- Andino and I have decided we want to continue to expand our family. I still want 4. He says he'll evaluate after #3 comes along. When I tell people I want more, the reaction is definitely not the same as when you tell people you want a second. As much as I want to be that person who doesn't care what people think (and I'm slowly getting there) I always feel a little disheartened when the reaction is "oh my God you're crazy!" as opposed to "oh how exciting!" I love the 2 year age gap and hopefully will be able to do the same thing next time. (Oh my God my work is going to kill me...)
- I've offered to donate my eggs to a woman I was put in touch with through the music scene my husband is a part of. He has a song about our experience with infertility and always talks about the meaning before playing it. Someone heard him and reached out after the show. It's all super early stages right now but I'm really hopeful I'll be able to help. I will hopefully blog about that when/if the time comes.
That's all the updates I have time for now. I look forward to connecting with you all on FB!
Tuesday, 2 August 2016
*(I don't have time to proof read this, so hopefully it reads okay)
Sunday, 24 July 2016
I had been planning a home birth and the birth pool was set up for a couple weeks, just waiting. All the supplies were ready. A dozen towels, a dozen receiving blankets, paper towels and other odds and ends. The mini fridge downstairs was plugged in and stocked with cold drinks and snacks. For at least a week, I'd been feeling baby start to press down on my cervix and I'd feel some twinges and think "this is it for sure" only to have her stop after 10 minutes or so and go back to feeling normal. For a few weeks I'd go to bed wondering if I'd wake up in the middle of the night in labour (as I had with Paloma). After the month of June ended and I had no daycare arranged for Paloma, I started to worry about what I'd do with her while I was in labour. (Her daycare ended up taking her for free on that day) My doula was away until July 3rd and we joked about me waiting to go into labour when she got back. I never thought that would really happen when she left on June 24th.
I went in for a midwife appointment on Monday morning and after checking me she said I was already 4cm dilated and had a "bulging bag of water". I also found out that my regular midwife was away on vacation and the new midwife would be delivering me. An ultrasound was scheduled for the following morning, just as a check up since I was 10 days overdue. After leaving the office, my waters broke at home at 10:30 a.m. It was a steady leak and I called the midwife office to let them know. They thought I'd go into labour naturally within 24 hours but advised me that after 24 hours, a home birth was no longer advised. I was home with Paloma and we went on with our day as usual. We didn't leave the house, but we played outside in the yard a lot. I was feeling completely fine with no pain whatsoever - just the regular discomfort that comes with the last few weeks of pregnancy. I noticed, however, that baby wasn't really moving. I went inside and had some ice cream which usually got her going, but still nothing. I was concerned but put it out of my mind as I figured labour was imminent. When I woke up the following morning still feeling fine - and baby still not moving much - I was worried. I decided then that I really wanted to be induced.
We called Paloma's daycare and let them know we'd be dropping her off. I packed my hospital bag and left for the ultrasound. I called the midwife to let her know I'd be heading to hospital for an induction after the ultrasound. When she told me that wasn't possible unless the ultrasound revealed something that indicated an induction, I got pretty upset. She said she could put my name on the list for induction but the hospital then triages the list and calls me when it's my turn.
I went in for the ultrasound and wasn't looking at the screen as we still didn't know the baby's sex and I sure as hell didn't want to find out then after waiting 41.5 weeks for the surprise. Andino and Paloma were in the room too and after a little while, the ultrasound tech asked me if baby had been sluggish. At that point I choked up and asked Andino to take Paloma out of the room because I didn't want her to see me upset. After they left, I told the ultrasound tech the whole story and how I felt that the midwife didn't really believe me that the baby wasn't moving. She went and got me some water and the baby still didn't react. At that point she brought in the Doctor and he said they weren't seeing what they wanted to see and I would be heading straight to the Labour & Delivery Unit for an induction. I was so relieved (and surprisingly not overly worried about baby. My intuition told me she'd be fine.) Up until that point I'd been really nervous about being induced but when the time came, I knew it was the right thing to do.
Part 2 will be written as soon as possible about what happened once I got to hospital
Monday, 4 July 2016
41 weeks + 2 days today. Come on baby, what are you waiting for? It's looking increasingly likely that my hippie home birth will not be possible and instead I'll be hooked up to oxytocin in hospital. I am so scared of the intensity of induced contractions! Will I be able to do it without an epidural like last time? I didn't realise how lucky I was that Paloma came on her due date...
I have another midwife appointment this morning for my 4th stretch and sweep and an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow to check if everything is still okay. I've been 2cm and 50% effaced for weeks. I've tried EVERYTHING to get things moving but not even one contraction. The whole house came down with the flu when I was 40 weeks. I was scared to go into labour so dehydrated so I popped into hospital one morning for an iv just in case. We're all better now, just waiting for baby.
Paloma finished daycare in July. It never even crossed my mind that baby might not be here when she finished. Now we have to figure out what to do with her if I go into labour during the day as my sister in law doesn't think she can leave work. Andino is going to talk to daycare about taking her for 1 day if need be. Fingers crossed.
I've been googling like crazy trying to find out why labour hasn't started and if there's anything I can do, but no new information can be found. Please send labour vibes my way and/or positive stories.
Friday, 20 May 2016
I just wrote 2 paragraphs full of reasons why I want more kids, but deleted them because, to make a long story short - it's what I've always imagined. If I don't have my third kid, will my dinner table always feel like it's missing a place?
But there are good reasons why I should probably stop after 2 kids. We have to pay a gazillion dollars for daycare. And how would we ever afford to travel as a family of 5? I love to travel... Andino has mentioned on more than one occasion that he is done after 2. That he is "too old for this". I have to take his feelings into account.
Recently, I did a tour of children's shelters as a Board Engagement activity through the YWCA. I always knew there was an overcrowding of foster children in this city, but seeing them and meeting them really hit my heart. I have talked to Andino many times about fostering and he's not sold on the idea. If we did, I'd probably only foster newborns and small babies. I know it's a few years away before I'd be able to do it but it's certainly on my mind. The only problem with fostering newborns is that I wouldn't get maternity leave as a foster Mom and as a Canadian, I can't imagine putting a newborn in daycare... although I suppose it really wouldn't be that bad.
I'll be 35 weeks this Sunday. I decided that since this is possibly my last pregnancy and therefore my last delivery, I'm going ahead with a home birth. I have always been intrigued by the idea and my midwives assure me I'm an ideal candidate. I've decided against a water birth though. I don't want to be bothered with all that set up and take down. I want everything to be simple. I won a doula and birth photography package though a local babywearing facebook group I am part of. It's valued at $1500 but we got it for $250. It would be amazing if we got some beautiful pictures from the delivery.
I'm still feeling quite comfortable. The baby has dropped (which never happened last time at all, not even when I was in active labour) so my ribs aren't hurting any more, which was one of my major discomforts over the last few weeks. I've been having some braxton hicks, especially if I over exert myself, but nothing major. No swelling or other discomfort other than the obvious discomfort from bending over or trying to wrangle a toddler while heavily pregnant.
We have more or less decided on names. We have 2 boys names and 2 girls names we agree on and we will probably just wait until the baby comes and see what he or she looks like. I have 3 weeks left of work and then I'm off for 14 months which makes me incredibly happy.
And now I will leave you with a few photos:
|It was unseasonably chilly a few mornings last week|
|Playing with her cousin|
|homemade banana ice cream!|
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
In other news, I was recently selected to sit on the Board of Directors for the YWCA. I've never been on a board before and I'm a bit nervous since I don't know any other board members but mostly I'm just excited. We had the AGM last night and a few other events/meetings planned over the next couple months, then we break for July & August which is great because the baby will be teeny tiny then. They even told me if I'd like to, I can bring the baby with me to the meetings as other Board members have done the same in the past. I'm thrilled to be a part of such a wonderful organization doing great work in the community.
And for a little pregnancy update, things are still going well. Still on the fence about home birth. Feeling mixed feelings about the pregnancy coming to an end. While I still really want to have 3-4 kids, part of me realizes that this could possibly be my last pregnancy, because you just never know. When I get emotional about it, Andino reminds me to live in the present. He's really good at that, but me? not so much.
And now for some photos of life lately:
|Ever wonder what supplies are needed for a home birth?|
|Lola keeping the squirrels at bay|
|Visitng Daddy for sound check|